Friday, July 22, 2011

amusing stories from work.

so i work in a place that is, well, not a good neighborhood. there are routinely drunks homeless and wanna be gang bangers wandering the sidewalk and streets. naturally they provide hours of entertainment for my co-workers and I. i thought that sharing some of the stories would amuse you.

one morning i arrived at work early, as is usual because i use the time before work to get some reading done. i park in the back of the parking lot looking toward the street. i see a homeless man walking down the street and he reaches the street corner that Arby's sits. he then drops his pants squats and craps on the sidewalk. this is a bust road during the morning, so buses and people driving to work are seeing this man poo at the corner. obviously the cops were called and he was arrested, because he didnt leave the scene.

another time a homeless drink man was walking down the street rather successfully.  the only problem was that his pants were unzipped and his penis was hanging out for all to see. several people tried to tell him but he just started screaming obscenities at them. this one was much more harmful, however, as it was during the school year and school buses drove by full of kids. once the cops arrested him we have never seen him again.

one night while closing a drunk man wandered into the lobby and just started staring at my boss. Boss walked over and asked him what he wanted, to which the drunk said F**K YOU! Totally caught off guard we asked what his problem was he started ranting about not getting his cheeseburger. there is a McDonald's down the street so we think he got our two stores mixed up.

just today i was out painting the store, getting it ready for a big inspection, when i saw a "Zombie" (Zombies are what we call anyone who falls into the Drunk, Homeless or Gang banger categories). whenever a car drove past him he would stop, turn to face the road whether the car was there or not and scream "Fifty Cents!" trying to paint while someone scream fifty cents every two seconds is hard because you will be laughing you ass off at the sheer randomness of it.

there are more stories but i will save them for later.


  1. lol. what city do you work in? be careful of the zombies dude.

  2. hahahahahahah great stories, best one was the guy screamin F YOU demanding his cheeseburger hahahah

  3. lol man this sounds like the twilight zone

  4. Routinely drunk homeless, uh? Are you from Philadelphia?